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Anger FAQ’s

How can Anger be good?

Anger is rarely considered a good emotion. But anger is an important emotion which helps us preserve the truth, resist evil and protect those people and things we are designed to care for. Anger, when rightly expressed, stands up to bullies, protects the weak and innocent, seeks justice and disarms the enemies of good.

Is Human Anger good?

Not normally. Our anger is often twisted by our selfishness and self-centered behaviors. We tend to use our anger to hide from others, control others and harm others in ways that are destructive to meaningful relationships. Human anger can be good when it is defending the weak, resisting evil and responding to threats in a loving and firm manner.

Where does Anger come from?

Anger is a natural reaction to perceived threats against our beliefs, our self-image, our loved ones or our property. Our anger is expressed in many ways based on our experiences, our beliefs, and our values. Behind our anger we often find it is fueled by our fears, self-doubts and emotional/physical pain.

How does Anger affect my relationships?

Anger rarely helps relationships flourish or experience intimacy. Instead it usually leads to isolation, bitterness and shallow relationships. Most people do not realize the range of angers they express and the negative impacts it is having on their relationships. It isn’t unusual for people to be blind to the costs of anger and how much they are missing out in life.

How do I control my Anger?

Attempting to control your Anger is like trying to plug a firehose with a cork. It sounds good but rarely works.
Because Anger is an emotion, we must explore the roots of anger and understand the beliefs behind our anger. When we remove the roots that fuel anger it is like turning off the water at the source and that is when we see our anger changed. Can we control or manage our Anger? Probably not in the moment. Can we reduce our emotions of Anger? Absolutely if we focus on the roots.

Who needs help with their Anger?

Sadly almost everyone struggles with the expression of anger and needs help. Most people excuse and minimize their problems with anger by comparing to others who are worse than them. That keeps us stuck. The result is that each of us pays a physical, emotional and relational cost because we are blind to our anger issues.

What are symptoms of Anger?

Everyone knows about explosive anger but most anger is more controlled and hidden. Do you experience frustration, irritation, exasperation, bitterness, or self-loathing? Do you express sarcasm, plot revenge, hold grudges, criticize others, avoid others or act dismissively to others? Congratulations because these are just a few of the ways anger manifests. Because it seems “normal”, we are prone to overlook and ignore anger working in our lives.

Can I get free from my Anger?

Yes you can find freedom from expressing regular destructive and corrosive anger. But because anger is an emotion, you will always feel it. Your focus should be on freeing yourself from expressing repetitive anger that is damaging your relationships but still be grateful that you can experience anger as an emotion. How you express can change dramatically if you understand the purposes of anger, how it works in your life and how it is rooted there.

What does the Bible say about Anger?

It teaches that anger is an emotion given by God so that we might be His image-bearers. It teaches that there is a good and right way to express anger. It gives examples of bad and good anger in the lives of human beings. It illustrates that anger is common to all people, in all cultures and throughout history. It tells us that wrong (or sinful) anger is an outward indication of inner issues. It offers a path to freedom from anger so that relationships can flourish.

How is Anger commonly expressed?

We all have different ways of expressing our anger and that makes it elusive to identify. We can express it outwardly through rage, yelling, bullying, sarcasm or fighting. We can express it inwardly in self-loathing, plotting revenge, holding a grudge, sabotaging others, and avoiding others. We can also express it in frustration, irritation, sullenness, annoyance, bitterness, being combative, fuming, venting, gossiping, ranting, the “silent” treatment and being judgemental.

Is all Anger bad or sinful?

Anger is an emotion and is not good or bad morally by itself. But how we express our anger is usually shaped by our selfishness, fears, doubts and pain (physical & emotional). That is the reason our anger can be good/bad/kind/evil/sinful/harmful. Seeing anger as a bad emotion is only seeing part of the picture because anger can be for good.

Why is Anger so common?

Anger is an emotion that arises when something we value is threatened. In life, it is inevitable that we will experience disappointments, obstacles to our goals, attacks on our self-image, betrayal and other perceived threats. For that reason, the emotion of anger is inevitable. We can change the way we express anger and dramatically reduce the negative effects it has on our lives and relationships.

What is Anger?

Anger is an emotional response to a perceived threat to something you deeply value. It could be a threat to your self-image, your job, your family, your property, your beliefs, your values or your relationships. Because it is based on our personal perceptions, our anger is unique to our experiences and beliefs. The emotion of anger is normal but it causes severe problems because of how we typically express it.

Is Anger inherited?

We often model our anger after how we see it expressed in our family so in that sense it is “inherited”. Many people excuse their anger by blaming it on their culture but there is no proof that anger is encoded in your DNA. We know that our emotion of anger is influenced by our physical/emotional state, our beliefs, our expectations, and our painful past experiences. We can believe we are powerless to change our expression of anger but that isn’t really true.

Why would Anger come so suddenly?

The emotion of anger is complex but when it arises suddenly that often indicates that someone has a conditioned response or a “trigger”. These triggers develop over time as we experience repetitive pain, doubt and fears. When we allow triggers to take hold in our lives, we will find repetitive explosive anger is common and we will feel powerless to stop them. However, these triggers can be defused when we choose to find their roots and apply truth.