Anger is a valid emotion.
It's only bad
WHEN IT TAKES CONTROL
AND MAKES YOU DO THINGS
YOU DON'T WANT TO DO.
― ELLEN HOPKINS
Your Anger is unique to you.
No one gets angry the exact same way that you do because your anger is shaped by your personal experiences and beliefs. Anger is shaped by:
- How much we have been hurt in the past by abuse and betrayal.
- What we believe about ourselves.
- What we believe about reality.
- How we saw anger expressed by others (parents, family or friends.)
- Our natural personality.
Your anger has patterns to it.
Once anger takes root in our lives, it will form patterns. It is easier and easier to express with that pattern. Our patterns are like paths that we walk over and over.
YOUR ANGER IS yours.
We often like to blame our anger on others or on circumstances. But is that true?
Have you noticed that you will get angry about things that others do not? And that you don't get angry about things that other do get angry about? Why is that?
This tells us that others and circumstances do not control our anger. Our anger is a reaction to perceived threats to our beliefs, values, property and self-image.
Realizing our anger is ours to own is a primary step to building a life with less and less anger. As long as we believe others cause our anger, we are saying that we are an anger puppet controlled by others. But that's not true. You are not a puppet.
YOUR ANGER changes.
Your anger has grown over time. It changes over time. If it can grow, then it is possible for it to shrink. Your anger today does not determine your anger tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. Your anger can change.