If you get angry easily, it may be because the seed of anger in you has been watered frequently over many years, and unfortunately you have allowed it or even encouraged it to be watered.
- Thich Nhat Hanh
Your Anger is reaction.
Remember that two persons can experience the same circumstance. One gets angry and the other does not. Each had different reaction. But why? What was different about them?
Since we know anger is a reaction to a perceived threat, it would seem that one person perceived no (or low) threat while the other perceived a significant (or high) threat.
The only practical reason for this is the differences the two people have in their past experiences. One had experiences that made some things a threat and the other did not.
A simple example is the fears that we see. Some people freak out about spiders and others think they are cute.
Your anger has roots
If we believe these various differences contribute to anger then we should consider what would be behind our anger. Because these differences are acting as roots which nourish and support our anger. Without their support, our anger must change. Think of it this way.
Weeds have roots. We want to remove weeds from our lawn. So we trying mowing them, but they just return. Why? Because the root remains and it will continue to add growth until it is pulled up. Mowing the weed every day will not change the fact that the weed exists. And anger is like a weed in our life.
Until you and I find the roots of what feeds our anger and understand why they there, then we are a slave to anger. Or to put it another way, all life has to do is push a certain button and we respond with the certain anger. Over and over again. Being controlled by our experiences, our past, our hurts, our pain and our fears.
But who wants to be controlled by others or circumstances? Not me. Not you.
I decided to get angry at the roots that were feeding my anger. I wanted to hunt them down, choke them to death and go find the next one. So how did I do that?
Here's how I find the roots.